Kinks and Cocktails
Katie & Eve dive into the weirdest, wildest kinks you’ve ever heard and read jaw-dropping listener sex stories that’ll leave you blushing and binging for more. Clink, drink, and get some kink.
Kinks and Cocktails
After Hours • Red Flags
This week on Kinks and Cocktails, we’re joined by our guest host Joshua for a hilariously honest chat about first date fails and the red flags you just can’t ignore. From awkward encounters to instant dealbreakers, we’re spilling all the tea—and maybe a few cocktails. Tune in and laugh (or cringe) along with us!
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SPEAKER_00:This is Kinks and Cocktails, a podcast where we explore all things kink and all things drink. Kinks and Cocktails contains explicit content. Listener discretion is advised.
SPEAKER_04:Hi everyone, this is Kinks and Cocktails, and we have some very fun listener stories today. My name is Katie, and I would like to welcome our dear friend Joshua, who will be a guest host today. Thanks for being here, Josh.
SPEAKER_01:You got it, Catherine. Thanks for having me.
SPEAKER_04:Of course. So how have you been?
SPEAKER_01:I have been uh amazing.
SPEAKER_04:That's good.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:So thank you so much for hosting my birthday last weekend, honestly.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, that was super fun.
SPEAKER_04:It was so fun. You gave me the best fried experience. Well, the only fried experience I've ever had.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. Yeah. I would say it, I would say it lived up to it, right? We did beer pong or sorry, beer bongs, which was awesome. Uh we did, well, you explain it because you brought it. I had never done that before when I was going to school.
SPEAKER_04:Oh, yeah, that's a new thing. I had explained it to Eve too yesterday when she was on. It's a a Borg. Blackout Rage gallon includes a gallon of water. Dump half of that out, add as much vodka as you want, electrolytes, and Mio.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. That actually I woke up feeling better than I have most days because I just kept on drinking a ton of water and and retaining it all, which was amazing.
SPEAKER_04:It was mostly water and electrolytes. Like nobody got super lit or anything. And like it was great. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:It was perfect. I think I actually became healthier at your frat party than uh than my normal everyday, every day, everyday stuff.
SPEAKER_04:And from your frat parties back in the day?
SPEAKER_01:Oh, those are just there's nothing healthy about those. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_04:They're fun.
SPEAKER_01:So the two secrets I learned are one, you have to you have to like pour the beer kind of vigorously. So all that uh you want to like what is it, disturb all the air bubbles and whatnot. Okay. Um, so that they rise up and they get out of there. Because otherwise your stomach's just gonna be full of carbonation.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, I did not feel full. It like that's why I don't like beer, but this is fine.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's why when we pour it, right? We pour it. And then where you like kind of like tip your end down so all the bubbles go up, you know? So it's just like uh you're just mainlining beer.
SPEAKER_04:There's like no foam, no like buttons. It was perfect.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_04:I loved it. I'm 10 out of 10.
SPEAKER_01:10 wood wood bong again.
SPEAKER_04:Yes, wood bong again.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, and that was Hams, which is which not that's probably the nicest beer I think I've ever had out of a beer bong. Most of the time, it's like, I mean, not even Natty Ice is pretty nice. Usually it's like it's like it's like uh Milwaukee's best diesel, right? Which is awful. Um Schmidt, you know.
SPEAKER_04:It's a frat party. Like in you guys bought what, car cov vodka for me? Yeah, and that's what the theme.
SPEAKER_01:That was high-end. I was like, I was like, ooh.
SPEAKER_04:Back in the day.
SPEAKER_01:I still have those, by the way. I have no idea what I'm gonna do with the carkov? Two bottles, two half full bottles of carkov.
SPEAKER_04:Put them in a different bottle, and I don't know.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:I don't know. I'm kidding. That's mean.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, a fancy, fancy Kirkland.
SPEAKER_04:Here we go. So yeah, today's episode, the theme is about first date fails, listener stories, and some of Joshua's stories that he has of his own, because you've been back in the dating world recently.
SPEAKER_01:I did, yeah. I have a I have a I have a pretty big fail. Okay. So that was fun.
SPEAKER_04:All right.
SPEAKER_01:Not a ton of dates, but but I do have some bad ones, which were amazing.
SPEAKER_04:That's gonna happen. I guess we'll hear all about it.
SPEAKER_01:Yep.
SPEAKER_04:Um, I did also, before we get into stories and sharing some of those, I wanted to go over a list of crazy bizarre dating sites that are out there.
SPEAKER_01:Okay. I'm gonna I'm gonna write down some of my favorites.
SPEAKER_04:Just take notes so you can check it out if you wanted. Yeah, exactly. Love it.
SPEAKER_01:Exactly.
SPEAKER_04:Yep. Not all of these are still in existence, but they all did exist at some point. Some of them are still out there.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, okay.
SPEAKER_04:All right. First one I got is called Salad Match.
SPEAKER_01:Ooh.
SPEAKER_04:So this Apple Pear users over their preferences in salad. It started by NYC restaurant chain chain called Just Salad. Salad Match will find you a date. They even do like speed dating events where you can eat salads on your speed dates. So yeah, what what's your favorite salad, Joshua?
SPEAKER_01:Uh, I'm gonna say it wrong. I think it's like uh caprese or whatever. The caprice, whatever.
SPEAKER_04:Caprice?
SPEAKER_01:I don't know. The tomato and the mozzarella and all that.
SPEAKER_04:That basalmic.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:It's a that's a good one.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Like the fresh basil, I think, is in there too. Yeah, like like I don't know how to say that one either.
SPEAKER_01:It's like it's like all my favorite salads are probably not actually salads. So it's ones like taco salad. Right. No, that's just a taco crumpled up, right? Um egg salad. Egg salad, pasta salad, right?
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, Mcmacaroni salad.
SPEAKER_01:Exactly.
SPEAKER_04:What's up? Oh, shout out to that one TikTok lady. Oh, she like went viral, but she was like, she lives in Minnesota and she makes what she calls Minnesota salads that aren't really salads. And she makes like the jello salads and like the pudding, like Snicker salads, and like she's hilarious.
SPEAKER_01:Those are real.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:So yeah, I mean, I think I think those are it. Uh if we're given shout-outs, oh yeah. Sorry, I'm gonna open it.
SPEAKER_04:That's okay. This is kinks and cocktails. You're allowed to have a beer.
SPEAKER_01:I know go for it. It's not a cocktail, it's not a cocktail. I'll pour it into like uh one of these, like we'll take it. Um shout out to the people who tirelessly work at Lunds and Byrley's making those amazing salads with their salad thing. It's unreal.
SPEAKER_04:Okay, they have good salads there. I didn't know that.
SPEAKER_01:So actually, if I think of my favorite like like salad from there, it's probably uh they have like this uh this curry chicken one that's pretty good. There's not e there's nothing healthy in it. It's just it's just like I think it's just chicken and sauce. Yeah, it's like egg salad, only it's like chicken salad, right? Yeah, it's like yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Oh, well, we live in Minnesota where a lot of the Midwest salads are like candy bars in it, literally, and jello and whipped cream and love it.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, I do like one healthy salad, seaweed salad.
SPEAKER_04:That is a good one. I love seaweed salad, yeah. So good. Um, I think I like I go to classic Caesar. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Um, so do you do anchovies?
SPEAKER_04:Yes.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, because you have to. Yes. Yes. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Uh-huh. I love tinned fish. Yeah. Yes.
SPEAKER_01:Oh my gosh. But the best part about the best part of the anchovies is like, is like the first time I ordered it, it was kind of like this rite of passage where I was all nervous about it and I was like, oh, well, you know, was that like a fancy place?
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I've never had it like that. I've just had it where like but I know what you're talking about. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. You order you order the Caesar and then you're like, oh, well, you know, what do you want with it? And you're like, ah, chicken or steak or nothing. Whatever. Um, but I was like, oh, can I get some anchovies with it? And it was all like, I didn't know if that was okay. Yeah. And the waiter was like, I got you.
SPEAKER_03:Nice.
SPEAKER_01:I got you. And now, like everywhere. I can be at Applebee's and I'll ask them if they have anchovies to go with it.
SPEAKER_04:I didn't know you can ask for that, like anywhere. Okay. Yeah. Noted.
SPEAKER_01:Uh it's it's usually at the places where they make the Caesar because then they're gonna have the anchovies that they blend up with the yeah, whatever other crap is in there.
SPEAKER_04:Absolutely. They have it on hand.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:But definitely do that next time.
SPEAKER_01:I would not eat, speaking of first date fails, I would not eat a anchovy Caesar salad.
SPEAKER_04:On a first date.
SPEAKER_01:On a first date. That would be, you know, that'd be that'd be kind of bad form. You know?
SPEAKER_04:Depends. I've seen somebody I know said she went on a first date and she ordered the wings.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:And she like, she's like, I don't care. And she like got all messy and sloppy eating them with her hands. And the guy was like, that's really hot. He was like, thank you for like just being yourself and not like, thank you for not ordering a salad.
SPEAKER_01:And they're just like in fact, salad, I bet is like the worst first date food of all, because you get like shit in your teeth and all that. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:That and like just getting a big giant bite of salad. It's hard to cut a salad, let's be honest.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. So you're like shoveling it in your mouth. Right.
SPEAKER_04:And it's like awkward giant bites, like you're trying to be all dainty and cute, but it's not really tomato juice squirting everywhere.
SPEAKER_01:Just Yep, yep, yep. No, I think that's that's spot on. That's spot on. So is is is what is it? Salad meat. Salad match. Salad match.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Is that still around?
SPEAKER_04:That one I'm not sure. I don't remember. I did not know if it was or not.
SPEAKER_01:I wouldn't be surprised if that if that did not take off.
SPEAKER_04:Right. Let me look actually at Salad Match dating site. Okay, let's see. Oh no. They're that was from 2010 to 2013. They are long gone.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. Yeah. They rode their wave.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:But imagine, imagine, imagine meeting somebody. Because like like a lot of dating sites, right? You're like kind of passionate. Yeah. You have like you have the normal ones. Right. But like uh uh uh what's what's the one for uh Jewish people? J Date, right? Okay, you know, like if I'm signing up on J Date, I'm probably pretty I'm probably pretty like excited about meeting other Jewish people too and talking about like like all that kind of stuff, right? Yep. Um or whatever it might be. Like you have to be really passionate about salads. Imagine like your bio on salad match, like I like a crispy lettuce, like a good green mix, like green flag, avocados, red flag, taking salad to go because it'll spoil in the car.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, that's so funny. Right. They get really into it.
unknown:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Exactly.
SPEAKER_04:You know what? Most people are meant for each other. I love it.
SPEAKER_01:All the prompts are like, what's your most adventurous salad you've ever eaten?
SPEAKER_04:You toss your salad. Oh, wait a minute.
SPEAKER_01:Yep, yep.
SPEAKER_04:I wonder if that's an area on this site.
SPEAKER_01:That's probably who bought it. Salad tossed or something. Yeah, imagine those crowds intermediate.
SPEAKER_04:That's a whole different dating site.
SPEAKER_01:I know, and that would be amazing. People are like, what's your favorite salad? You're like, oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Telling you the ones I like to toss. And they're like, I just like the house wedge. Like, wait a minute. Imagine that, like a speed dating, those two different sides.
SPEAKER_01:Wedgie salad. Wedgie salad. There it is. Yeah, perfect.
SPEAKER_04:I will clink and drink to that. Cheers, Joss. Cheers.
SPEAKER_01:Cheers, my friend.
SPEAKER_04:There you go. Do you want to hear the next one?
SPEAKER_01:Yes.
SPEAKER_04:All right. Clowndating.com.
SPEAKER_01:Nope.
SPEAKER_04:No.
SPEAKER_01:Nope.
SPEAKER_04:Not into honking some horns or uh balloon animals or I I will I will hear the description.
SPEAKER_01:I'm ready, but uh, but that like it makes me uncomfortable even thinking about it.
SPEAKER_04:I don't have a description because I didn't think it needed one.
SPEAKER_01:I wonder if it's like if it's like where you meet where clowns meet each other. Oh, it's more of like like you book a clown for your date. I don't know. Oh my gosh.
SPEAKER_04:I know I okay. So our very first episode ever for kinks and cocktails was about lunars. Do you know what lunars are?
SPEAKER_01:I have no idea what a lunar is.
SPEAKER_04:Lunars are uh it's a balloon fetish, a balloon kink. Okay, which also intertwines with a clown kink, a clown fetish. Um a lot of lunars they sit on balloons, big giant balloons that are like five feet long. Um there's lunar conventions. There's basically two different sides to lunars.
SPEAKER_01:Okay.
SPEAKER_04:Some lunars like to blow up their balloons and pop them and they the popping noise they love.
SPEAKER_02:Okay.
SPEAKER_04:Or sit on their balloon until it pops. And then the other side of lunars do not like popping their balloons, anti-pop.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, those crowds should not meet.
SPEAKER_04:That that's why I always wondered how a lunar convention works. Are there two different wings of the hotel convention center that they're at? What's going on?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:And sometimes there's clowns.
SPEAKER_01:Maybe it's kind of like understandably. Maybe it's like SNM stuff, right? Where you have where you have to like push those boundaries. So, you know, you have like the people who don't like it popped, you know, and you and you're like, you're like, get ready.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Get ready. I'm gonna pop this balloon.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. Some people even go inside of the balloons, like, because they're that big. They're like they can be like eight, ten feet big balloons, and they'll go inside of them. And like oh, our our lunar episode is our most popular episode.
SPEAKER_01:You guys can't see my face. I'm no I'm I'm this is this is this is beyond me.
SPEAKER_04:He is without speech.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, getting into a balloon. Because because I'm like, I'm like, that's dangerous.
SPEAKER_04:I'll show you some clips later and you'll be amazed. I can't wait.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, all right. I'm in.
SPEAKER_04:Are you ready for the next one?
SPEAKER_01:Yep.
SPEAKER_04:This one, you'd probably like this one too, but I don't I know Danny would like this one. Um, it's called Hater.
unknown:Okay.
SPEAKER_04:So it's a dating app based on bringing people together through mutual hatred of various things.
SPEAKER_01:Oh yeah. Is that one still exist? I need to go sign up for that.
SPEAKER_04:Actually, I think this one is. Hater. I think it's just I'm not sure what it's called exactly. Hater.com, I'm not sure. But just look up hater dating site, dating app. And yeah, you do you both hate certain salads?
unknown:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Bond over it.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, you could like, yeah, absolutely. Right? Like, like you'd get matched on favorite red flags.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, like oh, I hate that thing too so much. Let's let's let's date about it. Yeah, seriously.
SPEAKER_01:Seriously. I could see that. I could see that going on. Right. For sure. Uh yeah. Yeah. I think I think I think nobody, or at least most people don't want to date somebody who's negative about everything. Right? But some people might, right? And those people could find each other on hater.com.
SPEAKER_04:Not even negative about everything, just passionate about the few things they do not like.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Like I strongly dislike lima beans.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Would I date somebody who hates them? Just as bad. That I don't know. Maybe that's not the only reason I would date somebody, but it'd be it would be like a conversation piece, right? Like trauma bonding.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're like, okay, let's make sure we're on the same page. Lima beans.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. We're not putting them in our salad.
SPEAKER_01:Hard pass. So what I see all over the place is a lot of people are very split on pineapple on pizza. Either you have people that love it on pizza and hate those that hate it on pizza, or people that hate it on pizza. But it's a very, it's a very passionate subject.
SPEAKER_04:It is. What's your stance on it?
SPEAKER_01:I love it.
SPEAKER_04:Same.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Yes, absolutely.
SPEAKER_01:So shout out shout out to Latif's Pizzeria in uh in Plymouth, Minnesota, that has a picture of me playing hockey up on the wall. Nice. From when I was like in like second grade or something like that. But um, but they have this like it's called like peppadoo pizza or something like that. Okay. Anyway, it doesn't have red sauce. It's got like this like garlic, cream, butter, whatever sauce, and then cheese, and then uh like spicy peppers and Canadian bacon and pineapple. And it's other than their house special, it's like the best pizza I've ever had.
SPEAKER_04:All the good stuff. I like pineapple with spicy, like pepper pizza. Yeah, that's the best.
SPEAKER_01:Absolutely. All in.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. Alright, so we can join hater.com and hate on people who hate pineapple and pizza. Let's see. The next one is called Miss Travel. So Miss Travel is basically the same kind of any like sort of sugar daddy dating site, but with the added danger of potentially traveling overseas to meet the man.
SPEAKER_01:Hmm. So it's like it's like the other end of the male order bride sites.
SPEAKER_04:Kinda.
SPEAKER_01:Because like I will go on that site and be like, oh, I'll shop around. I'll I like that one. You know? And then this one's like, ooh, I'll find my my guy. This is like 90-day fiance. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:I don't except it's like a sugar daddy situation, not 90-day fiance. Well, I mean, sometimes that is.
SPEAKER_01:But I've never seen 90-day fiance. No. No. I'm lacking on Mike Trashy TV.
SPEAKER_04:I was of Danny and I were both obsessed with it for the longest time. But there's so many spin-offs and episodes. I gave up. But it's good. It's great.
SPEAKER_01:Do you ever watch episodes of people watching 90-day fiance? Like the recap ones and stuff.
SPEAKER_04:That is a spin-off. Um, what's it called? What's it called?
SPEAKER_01:Like revisited or something or whatever they call it.
SPEAKER_04:Where like they both like sit on their bed as a couple. The the couple was also on 90 Day Fiance. Yeah. And they watch another couple and they give their live commentary as they watch it.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. That's it's nice. That's like Twitch.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. Yeah, it's like that.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:They do they do it all. Yeah. It's it's a lot to watch.
SPEAKER_01:That would be a lot.
SPEAKER_04:All right. Ready for the next one?
SPEAKER_01:I am.
SPEAKER_04:The mullet passions.
SPEAKER_01:Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_04:You into it?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, I'm passionate about mullets. And yeah.
SPEAKER_04:You don't have one.
SPEAKER_01:No.
SPEAKER_04:Are you passionate like you would get one for this site? Or just find somebody who equally enjoys them, even though you don't have one? Or would you find it?
SPEAKER_01:I would probably combine it with hater.com.
SPEAKER_04:Okay.
SPEAKER_01:It'd be like mullet hater.com.
SPEAKER_04:You want to find another lover of mullets.
SPEAKER_01:No, I want to find a hater of I want I want to I am passionate about mullets in in the other way.
SPEAKER_04:Oh, you do not like them.
SPEAKER_01:No.
SPEAKER_04:Okay.
SPEAKER_01:It's like a bumper sticker that says we're not going to be friends. Right?
SPEAKER_04:So yeah, you think there might be two sides to mulletpassions.com.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Or you can start your own website of anti-mullets.com.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
unknown:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Not so passionate about mullets.com.
SPEAKER_04:You can start your own dating site.
SPEAKER_01:It's a little long. I would probably I would rename that one to like maybe like north of six ninety four.com.
SPEAKER_04:To everybody listening, that's 694 is is a major highway in Minnesota.
SPEAKER_01:Yep. I'd probably call it that. Just lump in a lot of this stuff into north of694.com.
SPEAKER_04:You're not wrong. All right. Oh, you're gonna really like the next one then. So it's called can dobetter.com.
SPEAKER_01:Okay. Okay.
SPEAKER_04:So do you remember the website Hot or Not?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Okay. I was just a child, way too young to be on there, but I do remember it. And um so can do better lets someone in a relationship upload two pictures.
SPEAKER_01:Okay.
SPEAKER_04:One of themselves and one of their current partner.
SPEAKER_01:Well, that's not fair.
SPEAKER_04:Mm-hmm. So other users on the site vote who is the hottest in the relationship and who is not in that relationship. And whoever, after certain like a week or 10 days, whoever gets the best votes for being the hottest gets granted access to the dating side of that site. Meaning this is a terrible mean way that they're breaking up with their partner. They're letting the people vote. Can I do better? Who's hotter? Me or them?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, but then you then imagine imagine that dating pool. Like the only people that you're gonna be matched with on the other side are other people shitty enough to so it's it almost like works itself out.
SPEAKER_04:Right. I thought the same thing. It's like, you know what? Y'all are meant for each other. Yeah. Go ahead.
SPEAKER_01:Exactly. I think that that works out really well. Right.
SPEAKER_04:At first I was like, that's mean, but then I thought the same thing you did.
SPEAKER_01:They should have they should also have like the consolation prize site, you know, where people are just like, yeah, fuck those guys. Yeah. You know.
SPEAKER_04:Have another dating site for everybody else, and actually they're probably like the best people ever.
SPEAKER_01:But here here's the thing. Like, like, if you're letting people choose the pictures that they upload, I think that's where that would get really tough. Because like, because like like if they're on the if they're my photos are fucking horrible. Because all I have are like are like like I don't I've never done selfies, right? So like I'm just going through Google Photos being like, oh well, I was kind of included in that.
SPEAKER_04:You're not a selfie guy. It doesn't seem no.
SPEAKER_01:No. But like so Whereas like girls like get makeup and they like you know hold the camera.
SPEAKER_04:You gotta do the MySpace angle.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, all that shit, right? Like, of course they're gonna show up better.
SPEAKER_04:But okay, there's that, and then there's also um if if they're the ones who signed up for this site without their partner knowing and uploaded, chose the pictures.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, they're gonna choose the best one for themselves. Right. Clearly.
SPEAKER_04:And you know what? If you're gone that far, you already checked out of the relationship.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:You're just trying to find somebody who's just as awful as you are.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, yeah. You're trying to have somebody like like validate and tell you that it's okay.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. Very messed up.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, well, that being said though, like some people do like, like, hey, you know, I know I shouldn't be with this person and blah blah blah. What what do you think? And they need to hear, like, yeah, no, you shouldn't. Get out of there.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, there's there's so many different people on that site, I'm sure. Yeah. All different levels of oof. Oof. That's all I have to say. This next one is for you.
unknown:Okay.
SPEAKER_04:All right, Josh, you ready?
SPEAKER_02:Yep.
SPEAKER_04:Trekpassions.com. Write it down.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Writing it down, yes. Goes without saying a dating site for science fiction lovers.
SPEAKER_01:Yep.
SPEAKER_04:There you go.
SPEAKER_01:Yep. That's amazing. Trekpassions.com slash PicardDaddy 420 for your free month. You already have your my referral code.
SPEAKER_04:Love it.
SPEAKER_01:Yep.
SPEAKER_04:They can, hey, if it goes well, maybe she'll be over at your house reading the Star Trek magazines that are in your bathroom.
SPEAKER_01:Which are amazing.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. Yeah. I gave Dasha a bunch of these Star Trek magazines and it's just the perfect reading material.
SPEAKER_01:Well, and so what I did is you gave me six of them. Uh-huh. And I'm going to be rotating them out every four months.
SPEAKER_03:Oh, good. Right.
SPEAKER_01:So other people who come over can have a ongoing variety. Right. So right now, obviously, the two best ones, Tasha Yarr and Jean-Luc Picard. Right? But we got some others on there too, right? It's going to be good. It's going to be a holiday surprise. What comes out next?
SPEAKER_04:So every time we come over for family barbecue, it'll be a whole different love it.
SPEAKER_01:Trekpassions.com.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. One kind of similar to it, Zombie Passions. That's another one. I don't know if you'd be into that. Danny said he'd be into that. He does love the zombie movies.
SPEAKER_01:So okay, so is it zombie movies or is it like goth girls?
SPEAKER_04:I don't know. I couldn't figure that out.
SPEAKER_01:Okay. Because I I I do I kind of like goth a little bit. I think that's a good idea.
SPEAKER_04:There was some goth matching dating sites as well. I didn't write them down because I thought those are kind of an obvious one. But yeah, I could see beyond the goth one.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, yeah. But if it if it was if it was like black eyeliner and shit, right? Like okay. Yeah. If it was like rotting flesh and fake blood and shit, I'd be like, meh.
SPEAKER_04:Like vampirematch.com or something.
SPEAKER_01:Well, yeah, yeah. So you got like the romantic vampire match, right?
SPEAKER_04:Where they're into like blood play. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Like uh the people who played uh masquerade in high school and stuff like that. Yeah. Are you are you too young for that, or do you know what I'm talking about? Vampire masquerade?
SPEAKER_04:I thought you just meant like a masquerade party.
SPEAKER_01:Oh no, this is a role-playing game.
SPEAKER_04:Oh, am I maybe I am too young for this. Please explain.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, okay. So so there was like I'm trying to think of a of a of a not mean way to say this. Um They were the kids who wore capes to school, right? Yes. Not not necessarily eyeliner and and crow makeup and all that other shit, right? Uh-huh. Just like a cape. Okay. Right? And maybe, and maybe when it's dress-up time, they would wear like something renaissance-y.
SPEAKER_03:Yes.
SPEAKER_01:You know, to prom or whatever. Right? You you could almost you could almost guarantee that they're playing this game called Vampire Masquerade.
SPEAKER_03:Okay.
SPEAKER_01:Which was like role-playing games. You have like DD, you have all these ones which are more like kind of tactical and all of that. Vampire is very much like Masquerade's very much like like the world building is like, and the love of my life, Boristat is blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.
SPEAKER_04:Like it's it's was this all online?
SPEAKER_01:No. Oh, no, this is before because the internet didn't exist.
SPEAKER_04:Way even before that. Okay.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Because I remember like vampirefreaks.com. This is way before. Okay. Way before.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, yeah, yeah. This this this is where yeah. Yeah. Gotcha. So I was friends with a lot of people that did it. So like like like I don't want to be like too mean, being like, here's what happened. But oh, I don't think it's being mean.
SPEAKER_04:I think it's very interesting and cool.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. It was just, it was uh it was intense. It was intense.
SPEAKER_04:I like it.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:So were there different like local groups then? There had to be.
SPEAKER_01:Well, I mean, there was like there was like groups of people that would play in our high school. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:So it'd be like But you'd only stick with like that group.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. It was it was the same kids that would go to a Renaissance festival.
SPEAKER_04:Okay.
SPEAKER_01:Not like we're going and attending. Like the whole, like, I got my parents to sign a waiver so I can work there when I'm 15.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Like that kind of I see. You know, and they were like all in. Right.
SPEAKER_04:That's how they oh, before the internet, yeah, that's what you did.
SPEAKER_01:Exactly. Like, where else are you gonna meet the traveling carnies and stuff like that?
SPEAKER_04:Right.
SPEAKER_01:Yep.
SPEAKER_04:All right. Next, we're getting into all the passion ones now. Like some does hot sauce passions.
SPEAKER_01:Oh yeah. That's getting right now.
SPEAKER_04:You're putting that one down too?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, absolutely.
SPEAKER_04:Noted.
SPEAKER_01:I'm making a hot sauce right now from Ricky. Gave me a bunch of uh peppers at your party.
SPEAKER_04:Oh, nice. Perfect.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Okay. We can give you some too. And you can impress this new gal with all the hot sauce you're making.
SPEAKER_01:That's true. Yep.
SPEAKER_04:Alright. And then Oscar Meyer created one called Sizzle, and that's for bacon lovers.
SPEAKER_01:Sizzle for bacon lovers. It's actually pretty good. That's a good name.
SPEAKER_04:Oh, it is. It's S-I-Z-Z-L.
SPEAKER_01:That's actually really smart.
SPEAKER_04:In all caps.
SPEAKER_01:Now, is that real or was it just like a PR play?
SPEAKER_04:No, that I think it was real. From what I could tell. I'm not sure if it's around anymore, but I I did find things on ends of the internet about it. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:If it was real, it reminds me a lot of like the salad match.
SPEAKER_04:Right.
SPEAKER_01:Right? You know, like you have to be really passionate about bacon.
SPEAKER_04:Some of these. Websites can like collab. Some people have bacon in their salads.
SPEAKER_01:Like, we couldn't shout out to your husband Daniel, who who taught me not bacon, but prosciutto for wrapping up the uh the asparagus.
SPEAKER_04:Oh, that was his idea?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, and then all that cool shit that you put on top of it. Let's go. Nice, nice. Yeah.
unknown:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Our barbecues are turning into quite the feasts. Yes. Amazing every time without fail. So the next one is questionable. Amish dating.com. Everybody has the same question. We're all thinking. Are they is this allowed? Are they allowed like dating sites?
SPEAKER_01:And are they all on Rumspringer or whatever you call it?
SPEAKER_04:So I did look it up more. Um for science. Everybody's has this question. I saw it all over the internet. Everybody had this question. Um there are different levels of commitment for different Amish communities.
SPEAKER_01:Okay.
SPEAKER_04:Um I used to live in Shitek, Wisconsin, middle of nowhere. There was many Amish communities there. Um and they were the ones I saw, they would take uh vans into town to buy food. Um do we also see horse and buggy? Yes. But there's just like some of them had cell phones, some like, you know, it there's different levels.
SPEAKER_01:So yeah, sometimes you see them getting on planes and shit.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:So or Rom Springer, like you said. Who knows?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. So maybe it's like it's like forbidden. You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_04:Mm-hmm. Or they're hiding it, you mean? Yeah. Like sneaky, and that's the turn on.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, they might they might take off their bonnet. Who knows?
SPEAKER_04:I'm yeah, I'm sure that's a thing.
SPEAKER_01:Out of control.
SPEAKER_04:For sure. Honestly, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:No, I will not help my dad raise the barn. Right. Busy chatting with hot Amish girls.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, get it. The next week, next one, oh, excuse me, next one is uh dead meat. Do you want to take a guess?
SPEAKER_01:I mean, maybe like a hunter one. I don't know.
SPEAKER_04:Good guess, but no. So this one is for morticians and funeral directors.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
SPEAKER_04:Well, I'm sure it's a lot of them dating each other because could you imagine meeting somebody like, oh, I'm a mortician. I'm sure it's hard for them to uh date somebody else who is not also a mortician or funeral director or in that same line of work.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, but then then I would say that you're letting your work define you too much. That would be like that would be like like like a dating site called like like I don't know, website analysts match dot com. Suck ass, right? I don't know.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, that's true.
SPEAKER_01:Like I don't want to talk about work. Work sucks.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, but this is also a different type of work, I think, that scares a lot of people away in the dating world.
SPEAKER_01:True.
SPEAKER_04:So maybe or maybe they're they maybe they're not a mortician or funeral director, and they just have the hots for morticians. Who knows?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_04:I don't know.
SPEAKER_01:That is that's just like like it just there's like some sort of line and barrier in my brain that's like that's like one, if that was my job, I don't care if I'm into it. I'm like, I'm doing that all day every day. Yeah. I don't wanna like like I want to talk about that.
SPEAKER_04:Why do I why don't I continue? Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, and I get home. On the other side, if that was my job and somebody was like, I'm really into that, I'd be like, no, mm-mm.
SPEAKER_04:You're just into me for that reason.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, yeah. And it sucks. I'd be like, oh, that's my job.
unknown:Right.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. Right? It's horrible.
SPEAKER_04:The other one's kind of similar. The next one, captain date. Find a sea captain or a companion on sea or land who loves the ocean just as much as you do.
SPEAKER_01:So that one, the title is horrible. Because that's just like dating captains.
SPEAKER_03:Yep.
SPEAKER_01:But the other ones of like of like, I like the ocean. Do you? I would say there's a lot more people who like the ocean than people who like salad.
SPEAKER_04:And also, oh, captain date also has the travel perks.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. Totally. 100%.
SPEAKER_04:So I can I can kind of see the captain date.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. And you you have I I would say, I mean, maybe it's a lifestyle, but I could see like like people who are like, oh, uh, gym date. Or whatever, because I go to the gym all the time.
SPEAKER_03:Right.
SPEAKER_01:Like there's people who are who are like who are like my life is built around my boat or whatever. And going on the ocean and the water, and I do that all day, every day.
SPEAKER_04:Or like a flight attendant. Like Right. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Right? So it's a lifestyle too.
SPEAKER_04:Need somebody else to understand, like, I'm gonna be gone a lot, and so are you, you know?
SPEAKER_01:Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Next one is uh farmersonly.com.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, I know that one.
SPEAKER_04:So we know that one too. And so Danny and I actually know somebody personally who found a man on farmersonly.com. They've been together for years.
SPEAKER_01:No way. And she do I know this person?
SPEAKER_04:Maybe it's one of our friend's mom.
SPEAKER_01:Here, do you want to oh well no, I don't think I know. I don't think you do.
SPEAKER_04:But she's not a farmer at all. She lived in Minneapolis in the city.
SPEAKER_01:No, she wanted to meet a farmer.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, and she did. And she moved in with him, and they've been together for years.
unknown:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:One what sucks? She could have done the exact same thing on north of694.com. She could have she could have found right right there. The same same vibe.
SPEAKER_04:Oh god. How to create this website now.
SPEAKER_01:Totally, dude.
SPEAKER_04:Be in competition with farmers only.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, it's the it's it's it's the farmer without the farm.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Let's put it that way. Yeah, it'd be perfect. Oh man. Farmer, farmers only. Like the ads for that.
SPEAKER_04:They've been around forever, I think.
SPEAKER_01:Totally. Yeah. Totally. And the ads are all like like, or what was it? There was like uh it was either that one or there was another one that was all about like rural dating or something.
SPEAKER_04:Was it really? Oh, what was it?
SPEAKER_01:Anyway, I'll think of it.
SPEAKER_04:There's so many out there.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. There's I guarantee there's gotta be like a mega site.
SPEAKER_04:Oh, for sure. I I yeah, there is.
SPEAKER_01:If there's not, they need to.
SPEAKER_04:Oh no, I've definitely come across doing what I do for the podcast, like use I see it all.
unknown:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Whether I want to or not. And my poor search history. Oh boy. But um, I think that's the list. That's all the list I have. Um, should we move on to our stories?
SPEAKER_01:I'm in. I got my my paper, my notes.
SPEAKER_04:All right.
SPEAKER_01:I was trained on how to podcast by Katie a few minutes ago.
SPEAKER_04:Katie showed up and I'm like, do you have your notes ready? He's like, no. I'm like, and so he did what I did, my first episode. I wrote down like on a piece of paper, my pen, my notes, and because that's what our generation learned and how to take notes. And so my first couple episodes, my co-hosts at the time, shout out to Ashley and Moth. They they're like, I don't know how much younger than me. They're the next generation younger than me, okay? And they both are kind of like making fun of me for writing it on paper. I'm like, but that's how you take notes. And like, and they were all like on their phones, and like I'm like, and honestly, now that I've got used to it, it is easier.
SPEAKER_01:No, no way. I said that too. Do you know? I had to go and get reading glasses. I refuse to wear them, uh-huh, but I own some right now.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:And so if I wrote it on my phone, I'd be like, You can make the font bigger just by going like that. No, that's what old people do. I'm not doing that.
SPEAKER_04:All right, anyways, you ready? Do you want to go first?
SPEAKER_01:Uh, sure.
SPEAKER_04:I don't or I I don't care.
SPEAKER_01:No, no, no, no. I'm game. I tried to pull people and gather a bunch of first state fails. Sure. Right? Or or probably a bigger theme, red flags, right? Yes. And uh, what's the story around it and stuff like that from a bunch of people I know, but this first one is mine.
SPEAKER_03:All right.
SPEAKER_01:Which was which was pretty amazing. So go for it. I think I've told you this before, but we'll see. But if not, let me know. So um, yeah, this one was you know, I think I had I had signed up and I was brand new to it and all this other kind of stuff, right? And and right when you sign up, if somebody like gives you attention, you're like, you're like, oh, that's pretty cool. Right? Like, okay. And um, and also didn't know a bunch of like rules around uh, you know, what's normal, what's not, all of that. So I think that's just something to keep in mind. But okay. Anyway, so uh, so you know, all of this, you know, uh chit-chat a little bit, that was fine. And then it was like, hey, do you want to meet up for a beer and see like like just have a conversation in person? I was like, sure, yeah, I'm pretty sure this isn't a bot. Great. Yeah. Um, so where did we meet? We met at a sports bar up in Maple Grove.
SPEAKER_03:Okay.
SPEAKER_01:Right? First red flag.
SPEAKER_03:Why?
SPEAKER_01:North of 694.
SPEAKER_03:Oh boy. I guess, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Right.
SPEAKER_03:Okay, true.
SPEAKER_01:So I should have I should have listened to that. Yeah. Right. Uh anyway, I get there, uh, you know, I like grab a seat at the bar, whatever. Um, she gets there and comes and I kind of recognized her, you know, waved, whatever. Great, came over, sit down. Um, she missed the bar stool and fell down.
SPEAKER_03:Okay.
SPEAKER_01:And so I was like, okay, all right, that's okay. Kind of stood up.
SPEAKER_04:Could have been something silly, funny, like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Just laughed a little bit and then, you know, then hiccuped a little bit, and then I was like, oh fuck, you're wasted.
unknown:Oh no.
SPEAKER_01:So I'm gonna keep a tally here. That was red flag number two.
SPEAKER_04:Okay, right. Yep. Yep.
SPEAKER_01:Now, what would a normal rational person do after the second red flag?
SPEAKER_04:After knowing what those red flags meant, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Um not even, not even. First date, and and somebody shows up just completely trashed.
SPEAKER_04:Um, ask how they're doing.
SPEAKER_01:Right?
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:And that's what I did.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Right?
SPEAKER_04:Most most show that you care and just like, hey, maybe they were just super nervous and drank about it. Maybe I don't know. That'd be my first thought.
SPEAKER_01:This is first date, though. This is like, this is like at most you've had uh a brief conversation.
SPEAKER_04:Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_01:Right.
SPEAKER_04:Maybe that's why they were so nervous.
SPEAKER_01:And well, maybe, maybe. What I was uh anyway, now if that happened, I'd be like, oh get the fuck out of there. Like, nope. Nope. Not today, right?
SPEAKER_04:Not today.
SPEAKER_01:So I flipped into, hey, are you okay?
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Right? And what should have ended in in probably five minutes.
SPEAKER_03:Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_01:Let's just say I have another two, three hours of story to go along with this, which was the same date, which was which was it only went downhill from here, which is even more amazing.
SPEAKER_04:Oh boy. All right, let's buckle in. Let's go.
SPEAKER_01:Okay. So, um, so I had a beer, right?
SPEAKER_04:Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_01:And she gets, you know, off the ground into into her seat, and she orders a beer. Okay.
SPEAKER_02:Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_01:Right. Um, you know, slams it right away. And I was like, whoa.
SPEAKER_04:I mean, here we go. Sometimes you'd have been like, my kind of gal, but not in this scenario.
SPEAKER_01:And and this was also, this was also, I was like, I was like having a really shitty couple of weeks there and all this that kind of stuff. So I was like, oh, I want to drink too. Like, yeah. Okay. Right. Again, not knowledgeable at all that this is this is this is something to run away from. Yeah. Right? You know?
SPEAKER_04:Still new into the dating scene these days. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, exactly. So anyway, slams that, orders another, right?
SPEAKER_04:And I was like, You just go and fuck, that's on. You're just matching each other.
SPEAKER_01:I mean, at this point, I think I was like, like, like I was like two in, and it was like four, you know. And then uh I closed out my tab.
SPEAKER_04:Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_01:And then she like went to the bathroom and disappeared.
SPEAKER_04:Did you pay for hers?
SPEAKER_01:Well, I didn't know what to do.
SPEAKER_04:So I was like just sitting there for a while, and I'm like, I think she was was she expecting you to pay for hers, and that's like why she disappeared to the bathroom.
SPEAKER_01:I have no idea because it was either wasted or another thing, maybe on just a whole fuckload of drugs. I don't know. I don't know. But she came back more lively. Oh boy. Right. Red flag number.
SPEAKER_04:What are we at now?
SPEAKER_01:Yep. Mark that one down. That's number three.
SPEAKER_04:Okay.
SPEAKER_01:She was really excited at that point to go to dinner. Um, so, so anyway, it ended up being like, like, I'm like, well, I gotta eat, and clearly she does too, right? Because you think, I'll drive. I'm like, you're not fucking driving. No. Right? You know, so um, yeah, and that's when it went from a date into babysitting, which was oh boy, which was an adventure. So, um, anyway, tried to drive. I'm gonna mark that down as number four.
SPEAKER_04:Say red flag number four. Yep.
SPEAKER_01:Um ended up, ended up going to dinner, and then let me read. Oh, don't do that anymore. You got it. No more playing with it.
SPEAKER_04:That's all right, Joshua. Yep.
SPEAKER_01:No, no, that's all good. Oh, oh, oh, oh, I forgot a piece of this.
SPEAKER_04:What's that?
SPEAKER_01:I'm just gonna mark number five here.
SPEAKER_04:All right, we're at number five, red flag number five.
SPEAKER_01:Um, so I think we were talking about like, oh, like what was your day like? And I was like, oh, like I had to go to the doctor earlier today, but it's okay and all that kind of stuff. And then she told me all about how for the last three or four years she's been committing insurance fraud. And it's like I was like, all right. And she was like, I mean, what's the worst they're gonna do? And I was like, I don't know, fucking take all your money and put you in jail.
SPEAKER_03:Right.
SPEAKER_01:Um like nothing good, right?
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, red flag number six. Yep.
SPEAKER_01:Yep. So there was a lot of insurance fraud there, which was like, oh fuck, and you're a criminal.
SPEAKER_04:Like, oh my god, it just keeps going.
SPEAKER_01:It keeps on going, right? So, um, anyway, getting some food, uh uh going down my list here, she got in a fight with people at the neighboring table. That was impressive.
SPEAKER_04:Well what's the fight about?
SPEAKER_01:Just like, they're looking at me bad. And I was like, I'm looking at you bad. They're not looking at you bad. And she's like, they are, they're giving me bad eyes. And I'm sitting there like, they're fine.
SPEAKER_02:They're fine.
SPEAKER_04:Are you paranoid? Or what's going on?
SPEAKER_01:It was like, it was like, it was like it was like, what are you staring at, bitch?
SPEAKER_04:Like, whoa, this is in this is insane. An outburst? She had an outburst. Oh, yeah.
unknown:Oh my god.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, like they like they like like like manager came over and stuff. It was wild, it was totally wild, and it keeps on going. Then she got cut off uh right by the waiter.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Then she went up to the bar and got cut off by the bartender. So I'm uh I don't know how many more to mark.
SPEAKER_04:I was gonna say, I'm lost in how many red flags we're at. I think we're at like almost at ten.
SPEAKER_01:Like they added three more.
SPEAKER_04:Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_01:Right. Um, eventually when we left after that, um, because her car was like I don't know, five blocks away from because you drove. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, we got there and so so we got we got removed from the restaurant.
SPEAKER_04:Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_01:Right. Which was definitely impressive. Um, anyway, got to got to her car and I was like, all right, like, bye. Yeah. You know, like kind of kind of like like reaching over and opening the door.
SPEAKER_04:Like a gentleman. As you do. As you do.
SPEAKER_01:Just kind of like pushing her out, like, okay, see you later. Right. Um, like, oh, I forgot my purse. I don't have my car keys. And like, where'd you figure out your purse? At the restaurant we just got removed from. No. So I had to go back over there to get it. Now on the way back over there to get it. Oh, no, no, no.
SPEAKER_04:Nobody can see, but Joshua just keeps tally marking every single red flag. You're at like over 10 now.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, right around.
SPEAKER_04:Okay, keep going.
SPEAKER_01:On on the way to go and get her purse, she started flashing her hoo-ha at like a 24-hour fitness.
SPEAKER_03:Wait.
SPEAKER_01:Right? When we like at a stop sign, I don't like stuck her head out the window, started screaming like, hey, check this out.
SPEAKER_04:And then her downstairs or upstairs?
SPEAKER_01:And then sat in the seat.
SPEAKER_04:Oh, so like she opened the door.
SPEAKER_01:No, like stuck her legs out the window.
unknown:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:This girl is wild. Yeah. Oh my goodness.
SPEAKER_01:Out of control. Yeah. Out of control. Um, we go back, we get the purse because I had to call, and they were like, You can't come in, we'll walk it out to you, which was impressive.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Right? Got that. Then on the way back to her car at another stop sign, she jumped out because the stop sign was in front of a total wine.
SPEAKER_04:Oh no.
SPEAKER_01:So she had I'm just gonna mark another one.
SPEAKER_04:Oh yeah. Let her we already know where this is going.
SPEAKER_01:Yep. Then I went in as well. Because, you know, I was like, what the fuck is going on here? Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:You got I just be curious at this point. Like, I'm I'm going along for the ride.
SPEAKER_01:After each one of these, you could ask, why did you not leave? And the best best reason I have is because I'm an idiot. Right? And also like, like, I just, you know, I don't know. I I I I was like, well, you know, you can't like let her drive. Right. Uh like can't leave her at total wine.
SPEAKER_04:You're also a gentleman, yes.
SPEAKER_01:It's not even a gentleman, like it's not like she's gonna be. Just the right thing to do. It's just like, it's just like, no, like you're not gonna leave somebody at total wine. Whereas now, yeah, I'd be like, absolutely not, right? All right, see you later. Anyway. So, um, like, like when I parked and went in, I had no idea where she was. So I was like walking around the wine aisles or whatever. Um, got a bottle that we had at at one of our steak dinners, which was amazing. Uh-huh. Right. But uh, we go to pay and and all of this, and I buy mine, doesn't have any money or credit cards that work. And at that point, I just wanted to go home. So, little one here. Bought the 12-pack of white claw. Right? Because then she was starting to yell at the manager about why her cards didn't work.
SPEAKER_02:Oh my god.
SPEAKER_01:Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. And and then it was then it was goodbye, my love. Center free.
SPEAKER_04:So that that was the that was your first date back into the dating world?
SPEAKER_01:There's just a second, yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Oh, fucking wild. My goodness.
SPEAKER_01:It's wild out there, it's absolutely wild out there.
SPEAKER_04:Wow.
SPEAKER_01:So I told my therapist about it, right?
SPEAKER_04:I told my therapist.
SPEAKER_01:Well, because everybody else I tell tell about it, right? They're like, they're like, one, that's fucking crazy. And two, like, like, get the fuck out of there right away, right? Therapist was like, was like, hey, she's like, I'm on the edge of my seat. I want to hear what's next. Right, right. You know, she's like, and yeah, we'll work on like, yeah, you know, you don't owe anybody anything, get out of there. But she's like, you need to work on keeping yourself safe. Yeah. Like, what the fuck, Josh?
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Right. And I was like, okay, that's fair. But really, what I boil this all down to, these like 12 red flags, are lesson of the night, never north of 694.
SPEAKER_04:There it is.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. That that was my that was my main lesson of the night.
SPEAKER_04:I'll cheers to that. There you go. All right.
SPEAKER_01:Kink and drink and clink.
SPEAKER_04:Yes, there it is. Wow. Joshua. I and then that just kept going and going and going.
SPEAKER_01:Yep. And then, and then I got a message like an hour later that was like, hey, boo, thanks for the good time. And I was like, oh, glad you made it home safe. Block.
SPEAKER_04:Cringe. It's kind of like one of those things, like, at first you're like, oh, she showed up a bit tipsy, and she fell off the chair. I'm like, sometimes it sounds like one of those cute moments of like, oh, I was so nervous and fell off the chair, and then we're still married 15 years later. Ha ha. You know, like it was not. It just tumbleweeded it into worse and worse.
SPEAKER_01:And worse and worse. And worse and worse. And worse. That was an advice. I even forgot, like now that I'm thinking about it, like she went up and hugged a kid at a different table. It was like, you're so cute. Because it like their birthday. And a bunch of the waiters sang a song, and the whole family was like, fuck is this person? Hugging my kid. It was it was absolutely wild.
SPEAKER_04:Like this is chaos.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Oh my god. I kind of want to meet her. I'm kidding.
unknown:I'm kidding.
SPEAKER_01:I mean, under different circumstances, it'd be it'd be, you know, it'd be like it'd be like, I need a night to let loose.
SPEAKER_04:I don't know. I don't even think I get that bad.
SPEAKER_01:No. Mm-mm. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Right. Well I hope she's okay. That made me feel better about myself.
SPEAKER_01:Yep. I'll call her I'll call her red flag rosy.
SPEAKER_04:Red flag red flag rosy. You have what, 10 marked there? 12? I think it's more like 15. Yeah, I can add a few. Yeah, well, we'll add a few. She's gonna get her own uh story on all the socials with all the tally marks.
SPEAKER_01:It was pretty wild.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, red flag rosy. I'm making a note.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, hashtag.
SPEAKER_04:Hashtag there it is.
SPEAKER_01:If you anybody wants a discount on my new dating site, north of or not north of 694.com slash red flagrosie is your referral code.
SPEAKER_04:We got it. I like it. I can find it on all of our socials at Kinks and Cocktails everywhere, Instagram, whatever have you.
SPEAKER_02:Yep.
SPEAKER_04:There it is. Wow, Joshua. Well, thank you for surviving that.
SPEAKER_01:I'm happy I did. I'm happy I did.
SPEAKER_04:I don't know what story to tell next. I have like four of them, and I'm gonna say none of these top that one. I am baffled. Um all right, I'm just gonna pick one. I'm gonna I think I'm gonna go with two of these here.
SPEAKER_01:Okay.
SPEAKER_04:Okay. No, three. They're all short. Oh, I'm like embarrassed. None of these are gonna top that. Okay, well, anyways. These are all from listeners that wrote in. I don't think they had it as bad as you. We'll see. All right. Hello, everyone. My first date was unusual. She was going to her cousin's funeral, and I was supposed to meet her for coffee afterwards. What? I know. Maybe she was trying to make her mind off it. I don't know.
SPEAKER_01:I'll start tallying red flag number one. We're judging them already. Like, oh, I'll be there as soon as I can. I'm coming from a family funeral. What the f no.
SPEAKER_04:Right? Her ride failed. Wonder why. I know. I ended up comforting her grandma. Oh, she's so her ride bailed. And so I said, I'll come with you. Totally weird. I know.
SPEAKER_01:To the funeral? Yeah. Oh, red. I don't have enough red flags.
SPEAKER_04:Or is that a green flag for this dude? I don't know.
SPEAKER_01:If you met on uh if you met on deadbodies.com.
SPEAKER_04:Undead, I know undeadmeat. Maybe they did, and he was into it.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:So he said, I ended up comforting her grandma. The whole family loved me, and somehow it was perfect. We've been together three years, and it's a great story to tell people. Thanks for giving me a chance to share from Anonymous.
SPEAKER_01:Wait, that had a happy ending?
SPEAKER_04:That's what I'm saying.
SPEAKER_01:How did that have a happy ending?
SPEAKER_04:All okay. Hear me out.
SPEAKER_01:Okay.
SPEAKER_04:Funerals, weddings, bachelorette parties. All girls are horny. Because it's a big life moment. It's a you're like, oh, how much longer am I gonna be here? I'm gonna find love, and you're just sure.
SPEAKER_01:But that's the movie Wedding Crashers. That's not a three-year relationship.
SPEAKER_04:So far they're still together. It's only I don't know.
unknown:Okay.
SPEAKER_01:All right. Hey, I don't judge. Yeah. Good, good, good for you.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, I'm glad it worked. I mean, that's a nice dude to be like, hey, I'll take you.
SPEAKER_01:Um, I feel like I feel like there has to be a lot more to this.
SPEAKER_04:There could that could go creepy really fast.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, like maybe they had like a vibe check ahead of time. They had talked on the phone a bunch.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, we don't know all those details.
SPEAKER_01:I know, I know. I'm just saying, like you're right. Straight up like like, hey, uh, we had like a like a five-minute conversation, and now I'm gonna drive you and your grandma to your cousin's funeral.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. I I don't think it was a quick like it sounds like they haven't met up before, but maybe there's video chat these days. There's, you know.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:I've I've heard people say, like, oh, we talked like six hours on the phone.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. Well, there's even shit like like like if they're not using any of the apps or anything like that. Like, we met on Reddit and we were long distance friends for six months.
SPEAKER_04:Or a friend of a friend.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, whatever the shit. Yeah. Okay, okay. Yeah. All right, all right. I can vibe with that. I like that story better.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Let's hope so. Let's hope it's like yeah. All right, ready for another?
SPEAKER_01:Yep.
SPEAKER_04:Hmm. All right, I got two more. All right. So I met this dude online and he told me he was in a band that played quote unquote festivals. Turns out it was the parking lot of a vape convention. He brought his guitar to dinner on our first date and asked the waitress to cut the house music so he could serenade me. The waiter said no.
SPEAKER_01:A romantic.
SPEAKER_04:Mm-hmm. But he did it anyway. He played I guess the song on his guitar.
SPEAKER_01:If it's anything by pit bull, this guy's getting my my too huge thumbs up.
SPEAKER_04:He played Wonderwall.
SPEAKER_02:Oh, he did it.
SPEAKER_04:This vape festival music guy played Wonderwall and then got mad when no one clapped in the restaurant. So he stormed out of a date without paying for his drink and just left me there. I Venmo requested him seven dollars for the drink. He declined.
SPEAKER_02:He declined with the message.
SPEAKER_04:And I quote, art isn't about money. He asked me out again. I said no.
SPEAKER_01:I like that a lot.
SPEAKER_04:Stormed out of the restaurant and nobody applauded as Wonderall.
SPEAKER_01:Art isn't about money, by the way.
SPEAKER_04:Wanna go out again?
SPEAKER_01:That's pretty awesome.
SPEAKER_04:I'm just trying to picture what this dude looks like, and I can only imagine. Oh, wait, wait, wait. They're from Portland.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, okay. Well, uh, still a wonder wall. I don't know. That's not too hipster-y. That's like Not really. Have you seen uh you've seen the Barbie movie, right? Yes. Yeah, where they all sing uh I wanna push you around. Yes. Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:I love that movie.
SPEAKER_01:It is pretty good. Yeah. I think like that would be that would be impressive. That would be impressive. What would? Because because like imagine imagine all of that courage to make that grand gesture. He's like, he's doing the ten things I hate about you shit. Right? Where he's like, he's like, he's like, wait a second. Everybody. Yeah, cut the music. Everybody in the stadium's gonna see me sing the sing to Julia Styles. Right.
SPEAKER_04:I love you, baby. It's quite alright.
SPEAKER_01:Exactly. Which is which is cringy all on its own, at least when I walked out.
SPEAKER_04:He set up the band. This is like at least a few days planning for that. True. He paid off the he paid off the stadium, like audio tech people.
SPEAKER_01:He with money that was given to date Julia Styles.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. This random dude just showed up on a first date. Don't forget. Cut the music. And the server's like, no. Are you gonna tip me? No, this dude's not even paying for his own drink in the end.
SPEAKER_01:Can we sit over there? It's better acoustics.
SPEAKER_02:Right.
SPEAKER_01:I think I I would say I applaud somebody had watched too many movies and had too much.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Too much like like yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Too much, too much movies and too little real life experience for that one, right?
SPEAKER_04:I do like the the vision.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_04:I do like the vision that he had. But that's where something where the you you put the effort in enough to where you call the restaurant ahead of time or pull the server aside and be like, hey, can I tip you a little? You know, like that's the problem, like doesn't seem like there was enough effort put into it to storm out because nobody clapped for him. It was just I don't know. Yeah, it could have been done better.
SPEAKER_01:I appreciate the like you said, you know, but well, so half the stories I got, you know, got a lot from guys, got a lot from girls. Half the stories from girls, I would say like easily half of them when I was going out and and and pulling and finding these, yeah, are guys get really fucking angry.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Like I don't I don't understand that. I mean, I guess like I have some anger somewhere.
SPEAKER_04:You're a pretty nice dude.
SPEAKER_01:But on on like first state angry, right? Like like half the stories were about people like yelling at them, yeah, and shit like that.
SPEAKER_04:Like, like, like I wonder why women are so scared.
SPEAKER_01:It's wild, it's absolutely wild.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. Do you have another story?
SPEAKER_01:Um, well, actually, that reminds me when uh one I heard was from a different buddy. Okay. And she was like, Oh yeah, like I went out uh I think it was like a date or two with this guy. Great, seemed kind of normal, but then um, anyway, date number two is like, oh, let's just hang out at my house and watch movies. And it was like, oh well, I know where that's going, but you know, blah blah blah. Actually, I think it was this was like they chatted a bit, and this was day one. Yeah. Um and so it was like, oh, okay, and but she was like, Oh, well, maybe it'll be okay, and and all this other kind of stuff. Anyway, um, I guess like movies on, you know, food is cooking, whatever. Uh they start kissing, and I guess the way it was described to me was like no warning, hand directly down the shirt, and then twisted and squeezed as hard as he could. Oh, and was like pulling on him.
SPEAKER_04:No, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:And she was like, ouch!
SPEAKER_04:Excuse you, sir. Why would you do that?
SPEAKER_01:He was like, Girls like it. He was like, No, no, my friend, they don't.
SPEAKER_04:And that's it was pre-discussed that that was okay.
SPEAKER_01:I'm I'm just I'm just like, whoa, that escalated really quickly, you know, and then there's like discussion of if this person had like a traumatic brain injury, all sorts of other shit out there. Yeah, it was pretty wild. It was pretty wild. That one that one, like I guess it happened like three or four more times. It was finally like, you need to stop.
SPEAKER_04:Danny, Danny's in the same room. Do you hear this? 15 years later, he still does this to me. It's not funny anymore. I'm gonna note this. What what moment of that? One minute, five minutes, one one hour, one hour in. Danny, please listen. Okay. No, I just get him back by then grabbing his balls right away, and then he learns to stop really quickly.
SPEAKER_01:That would that would that would hurt so bad.
SPEAKER_04:He does it just like jokingly. It's it's fine. And then I do jokingly back, then he suddenly stops.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, I would stop. I don't like that one. What else you got?
SPEAKER_04:Danny, can wait for you to edit this. Okay. Um, I guess I got two more. I do want to do this one. And I was saving them best for last.
SPEAKER_02:Okay.
SPEAKER_04:So one more before that. It's called the Escape Room Date Gone Wrong.
SPEAKER_01:Okay.
SPEAKER_04:We decided to do an escape room for a first date. Fun, right? Except about 10 minutes in, the guy starts panicking and yelling that we're being quote unquote experimented on. He tries to break the door open with a fake skull prop that was in the room. The staff had to come in over the intercom and tell him, sir, it's not real. He refused to believe them. He legit thought we were in a government simulation or experiment. We got escorted out. He messaged me later saying, I still think that was a test. I said, It was. And you failed. And I blocked him.
SPEAKER_01:Sounds like dude straight up had like a mental break.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. She said, I don't want any tinfoil hat dudes in my life from Anonymous.
SPEAKER_01:That's even like where you start to break shit and whatnot, though. That's like, that's like and tinfoil hat people, they'll avoid it ahead of time. Right? This is like, this is like, dude, dude freaked out.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. Where did you meet this guy? There.
SPEAKER_01:North of 694.
unknown:Oh no.
SPEAKER_04:Probably. You're not wrong.
SPEAKER_01:The only place to meet people.
SPEAKER_04:You're not wrong. Oh my god.
SPEAKER_01:I think one of my favorite other ones. Yeah, I got like anecdotes and stuff like that too.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:I feel like as far as like like prep and all of that kind of stuff, and doting your I's and crossing your T's and all that, you know, would be this one seems really avoid un or really avoidable. So it was like third or fourth date. You know, things are going pretty well. It was, hey, come over, great. Um and when she's coming in, it was at like an apartment in downtown Minneapolis where you had to like sign in with the the front desk and all that other kind of stuff, right?
SPEAKER_02:Yep.
SPEAKER_01:So she looks at the sign-in sheet and like two hours earlier is somebody else signing in. For the same same apartment.
SPEAKER_03:Gotcha. Right?
SPEAKER_01:And they're like, huh. That's weird, right?
SPEAKER_02:Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_01:And so anyway, sees that, goes up, all this other kind of stuff. Um, and she asks him, like, like, hey, what's you know, what's blah blah blah.
SPEAKER_03:Right. And he's like, Oh, yeah, that's my neighbor.
SPEAKER_01:Anyway, turns out that one, why would a neighbor sign in?
SPEAKER_03:Right.
SPEAKER_01:Two, she wrote down the name and looked it up on Facebook.
SPEAKER_03:Okay.
SPEAKER_01:And the person's like photos match the face of somebody that he had texted her a few hours prior, being like, So great seeing you, like, love my time with you or whatever. And then and then was like, Oh yeah, that was my cousin, or some shit like that. Right? So now it's like cousin that had to sign in, neighbor, apparently.
SPEAKER_04:Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_01:Or just other love interest, and he texted the wrong person.
SPEAKER_04:Right.
SPEAKER_01:Right.
SPEAKER_04:None of that's adding up.
SPEAKER_01:None of that's adding up. No. Right, right. And so, um, at least according to her, then she just got out of there and stuff like that.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. Like, fuck you. Sketchy. But like, but like, yeah, if you see that, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:You understand if we're playing the field, but at least be honest about it.
SPEAKER_01:Well, and don't text pictures of one girl to the other girl.
SPEAKER_04:Yep. That's a pretty big rule. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:I'd say that would be a red flag.
SPEAKER_04:How many are we at?
SPEAKER_01:That would be a big one. That would be a big one. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:I got one last story.
SPEAKER_01:I'm ready.
SPEAKER_04:All right. Um, well, you know what? Unless you want two, they're both short.
SPEAKER_01:I'm game.
SPEAKER_04:All right. I'm gonna say the one for you for last. So one more ahead of that. Sorry, everyone. I keep saying that's one more, but I can't pass this one up. Hello, Kinky Crew. He had a surprise for me for our first date. He seemed like a really cute and nice guy, so I agreed to go blindly into this. I figured, why not? He picked me up and he took me to our local sex shop. At first I thought it was a joke.
SPEAKER_01:Just gonna mark one red flag there.
SPEAKER_04:That's a big bold red flag. It was not a joke.
SPEAKER_01:I mean, depending on where they met. True. Maybe it met on field or something like that.
SPEAKER_04:Fair point. Fair point. It was not a joke. He told me I could get anything I wanted. And he would pay for it. We got inside. I was scared and weirded out, but didn't know how to get out of the situation. Um, I told him to go ahead and start browsing.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, because he picked her up.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. So she's like there, like, no car, like, okay.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, friend. Yep.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. And I told him to go ahead and start browsing. I'm gonna figure out where the bathroom is. I told the cashier secretly what was going on. They told me he comes in here almost every week with a new date, doing the same thing.
SPEAKER_01:Hmm.
SPEAKER_04:She told me she will distract him.
SPEAKER_01:Red flag number two.
unknown:Right?
SPEAKER_04:Asking if he needs any help so I could secretly leave. I thanked her and I ran outside. I ran a few blocks down the street and I called an Uber home. I'm never going on a quote unquote surprise date again.
SPEAKER_01:Sad.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Whereas like like surprise dates should be fun.
SPEAKER_04:I think like a cute little picnic or something, you know?
SPEAKER_01:Like even even my my disaster, like, like what's the worst thing that happened to me? I bought some beers and dinner.
unknown:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Right. And wasted. Oh, and white claw. And wasted uh wasted wasted a couple of hours, right? Right. But I'm fine.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Right? Like uh, I don't know.
SPEAKER_04:This person, she's like, what is he planning on doing to me or with me or what?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:What what what? Yeah. Yeah, I'd sneak out of there too.
SPEAKER_01:Comes with like a like a like a two-foot toy or something like that.
SPEAKER_04:Right.
SPEAKER_01:Oh.
SPEAKER_04:All right, first date. What?
SPEAKER_01:Where is that going?
SPEAKER_04:Sorry, dude, but no matter where that's going, I'm not inspired.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, this for me. Oh.
SPEAKER_04:Still not into it.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, that would be intense.
SPEAKER_04:Uh-huh. Ready for the last one?
SPEAKER_01:Yep, I am.
SPEAKER_04:This one is specially for you.
SPEAKER_01:Okay.
SPEAKER_04:All right. Here we go.
SPEAKER_01:Why is this one especially for me?
SPEAKER_04:You'll find out.
SPEAKER_01:Okay.
SPEAKER_04:He told me he uh oh, wait a second. Oh, hang on. I forgot to add this little thing here. Another surprise date, but this is a good one.
SPEAKER_01:Okay.
SPEAKER_04:Okay. I forgot about that. Okay. Told me he had a surprise date. Right? Fun. So we drive like 25 minutes and I realize we're pulling into a Costco.
SPEAKER_01:Fuck yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Who I knew you'd like this one.
SPEAKER_01:Who sent this in?
SPEAKER_04:I don't know. Anonymous.
SPEAKER_01:Oh. Anonymous?
SPEAKER_04:Yep. I don't know. A lot of people send him in anonymous. I don't know.
SPEAKER_01:Anonymous? Why did you do this? You can email me at josh at CostcoPassions.com.
SPEAKER_04:I love it. So continuing on real quick. So he grabs a cart. He grabs the cart and says, Trust me, this is dinner and entertainment. We walk around the sample stations and we buy, we get every single sample, have a quick discussion about each sample, whether we liked it or not. We buy about$200 worth of stuff, food, home decor, and even a new book I've been wanting. Oh. He asked if I wanted to get a Costco hot dog and a drink. And honestly, I could never pass up a Costco hot dog. Yeah. Right? I agree. I said I would go on a couple of more dates with him, as long as he did not bring me to Sam's Club next.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. Huge red flag on Sam's Club.
SPEAKER_04:Green flag that she is against Sam's Club.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_04:Costco's way better.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. I feel like these people, more than the Mortician funeral people. Like these, this this relationship was built to last. It's built on a foundation on a strong, solid bedrock.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. Well, it said it. We're still together six months later.
SPEAKER_01:Yep.
SPEAKER_04:And we're still furnishing his new apartment very well with our Costco dates and still have my Costco hot dog every single time.
SPEAKER_01:Yep. Yep.
SPEAKER_04:That's it.
SPEAKER_01:I love it. I know you love that one. Congrats to you guys. You guys are building a relationship built on trust. I would say. Uh oh you obviously you both have good judgment.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. You're judging somebody on what they're getting at Costco.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. I mean, just the fact that they go to Costco is like let's go.
SPEAKER_04:Have you ever had a Sam's Club hot dog? It sucks. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:I would imagine Sam's Club people and North of 694 people probably get along very well.
SPEAKER_04:Probably.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:That's my assumption.
SPEAKER_04:I figured I would save the best one for last for you. There you go.
SPEAKER_01:Sweet. So what's the what's the next episode about on kinks and cocktails?
SPEAKER_04:Um, so we still have a couple more weeks to figure out.
SPEAKER_01:Okay.
SPEAKER_04:One for each week, but Halloween is coming up.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. What do you do? What do you usually do for Halloween?
SPEAKER_04:Listener stories for Halloween. We did fall and autumn already.
SPEAKER_02:Okay.
SPEAKER_04:Um, that one's coming out tomorrow. And Halloween. Did you dress up as a sexy Costco employee? I don't know. Tell tell us. Tell us your Halloween sexcapade stories at kinksandcocktails.com. You can remain anonymous or not. Um, you can join our Patreon at patreon.com slash kinks of cocktails. It's only a dollar a month. So if you don't like it, it's only the about the price of a Costco hot dog.
SPEAKER_01:Wait, what do I do? I have to go to Patreon?
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Can I just Venmo you a dollar a month?
SPEAKER_04:Or you can. Well, we're on Cash App at Kinks of Cocktails. I don't know. All of this, anyways you want to donate to us or support the show is on kinks ofcocktails.com.
SPEAKER_01:Okay. All right. I'm in.
SPEAKER_04:There you go. Is there anything else you wanted to add, Joshua?
SPEAKER_01:I don't know, Catherine. I'm trying to think of uh you've got a nice boo tree set up.
SPEAKER_04:Nice what?
SPEAKER_01:Isn't that what it's called?
SPEAKER_04:A spooky, oh, a boo tree? I've never heard of it called that. A Halloween tree?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, what do you call it? I don't know.
SPEAKER_04:I mean that's my goth tree.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, so it's not just for Halloween.
SPEAKER_04:No, my goth tree is up all year round.
SPEAKER_01:With the black skulls and cauldrons and all that stuff.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. So when it's Valentine's Day, I add like a dark romance vibe to it. Okay. Like an evil, like dark romance vampire at hearts and stuff. I have four holiday trees up all year round.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:The other boo tree is a Beetlejuice themed tree. Yeah. I have one upstairs, it's like Chucky themed and like scream themed and like all like the horror horror movie kind of. Killer guys. Yeah. Like the Freddy, all of those guys.
SPEAKER_01:Now, what's your favorite Halloween movie?
SPEAKER_04:Chucky. Really? I love the Chucky series. There's like eight of them.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:And I love every single one of them.
SPEAKER_01:Impressive. I would not have guessed that.
SPEAKER_04:I love Chucky.
SPEAKER_01:I thought the doll was super creepy.
SPEAKER_04:I love creepy, any creepy doll movie.
SPEAKER_01:Mm-mm. Mm-mm.
SPEAKER_04:Annabelle, like, oh, Danny's had to deal with this with me. Like, ever since I discovered Chucky, I had I every year I try to finish every single, I have a list of every single scary doll movie, and there's like 30 of them.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:And like I got maybe halfway through.
SPEAKER_01:Even like doll-adjacent ones, like conjuring.
SPEAKER_04:Yep.
SPEAKER_01:That uh preview that we saw when we went to F1.
SPEAKER_04:Yep.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. And there's like, I try to collect creepy dolls. Danny will not let me.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, that'd be that'd be a no.
SPEAKER_04:But then again, he's brought a free used Ouija board into our house as a gift to me that he got from a Facebook group, a local Facebook group. I'm like, now that's scary.
SPEAKER_01:Does he remember getting it, or did it just show up one time?
SPEAKER_04:No, he's just like we went and picked it up.
SPEAKER_01:He okay, so it wasn't like Jumanji where all of a sudden it just showed up.
SPEAKER_04:Maybe it is. Should we play it?
SPEAKER_01:No.
SPEAKER_04:I've not opened it yet.
SPEAKER_01:That's what I'm saying.
SPEAKER_04:It's used. It was from a free buy nothing group in our local group in the Twin Cities area. And he's like, Oh no, I got this for you. I thought you would like it. And I'm like, You of all people would not what I I was so confused. You won't even let me collect scary dolls. And so, and we went to go pick it up, and it was nighttime. And he's like, Go ahead, go, it's a porch pickup, go grab it. And I'm like, Okay. So I went and grabbed it. The house was for sale. It was all dark. I'm like, okay, why are you getting this rid of this used Ouija board? It's not even a normal looking one either. It looks weird, like creepy. Like one, not a normal looking one.
SPEAKER_01:It's Jumanji.
SPEAKER_04:Something. Yeah. And why is your house for sale? What are you passing on to us through this board? I'm so freaked out.
SPEAKER_01:I will say, I will say the house for sale makes sense. Because that's when you get rid of all your shit.
SPEAKER_04:Well, right. But and it maybe their house got haunted because they used this weird as fuck like a Ouija board. And they're like, let's get rid of it when we move. Because it caused all this crazy. I don't know. Now it's in our house. Yay!
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. I feel like I feel like we're we're adding a lot to this story. You know, my Occam's razor one is they had some shitty Ouija board out in the garage that like a rat ate up and that it got rained on and all sorts of other random shit. And it was never used. Uh-huh. And then they were moving and they were like, I gotta get rid of all this stuff, right? And so you got you got a free board game. Yours is a little bit more. You're like, well, that could be one possibility. Or the house is for sale because everybody who lived in there is now dead.
SPEAKER_03:Oh god. Oh, great.
SPEAKER_01:Even better. They use the Ouija board to summon the spirits. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:And it's Halloween coming up. Let's. Alright, this we'll use the board and it'll be on Patreon, everyone. Ready, Joshua?
SPEAKER_01:No, that scares me. I'm kidding.
SPEAKER_04:I'm not doing that stuff. If anybody, I'd make Danny do it with me because it's his idea.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, I'm not tempting fate.
SPEAKER_04:All right. Well, I think that's it. Thank you for coming by, Joshua. It was so much fun.
SPEAKER_01:So much fun, Catherine. Thanks for having me.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, we'll have to do this again, maybe round two.
SPEAKER_01:Absolutely. Anytime.
SPEAKER_04:All right. Well, please give us five stars, everyone. It helps us out so, so, so much. Check us out, kingsococktails.com. Tell your friends. Tell your first date. Why not? Let's have some fun. All right, bye.
